Wow! This topic? I know. It certainly is not politically correct, but do we really want to tell ourselves that we can be just like one of the guys? God made us perfectly unique and completely different. There is no need to compare.
Looking at society’s definition of womanhood can leave you feeling disheartened as you see bitter and hardened women who were told being a feminist would feel so freeing. Proverbs 13:15 makes perfect sense. “…the way of transgressors is hard.“ Years after the "women’s liberation” movement began, we see many wives/mothers more stressed and tired than ever while many husbands/fathers have become less faithful to their wives and more complacent in their duty of leading the home. Society has conditioned men to think they should basically be grown-up little boys letting us take the lead. If they try to live as the man God desires them to be, the protector and provider, they can often be labeled as… oppressive? Where does a Christian woman need to stand on the issue of feminism? If we are not careful, we can be influenced to take on responsibility God never intended us to as we try to “show the men” how it is done. In turn, we can end up miserable and in bondage to Satan’s lies.
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.“ John 8:32
In her book "Let Me Be a Woman” Elisabeth Elliot shares this thought, “We need not worry about pleasing others. It is a naive sort of feminism that insists that women prove their ability to do all the things that men do. This is a distortion and a travesty. Men have never sought to prove that they can do all the things women do. Why subject women to purely masculine criteria? Women can and ought to be judged by the criteria of femininity, for it is in their femininity that they participate in the human race. And femininity has its limitations. So has masculinity. That is what we’ve been talking about. To do this is not to do that. To be this is not to be that. To be a woman is not to be a man. To be married is not to be single - which may mean not to have a career. To marry this man is not to marry all the others. A choice is a limitation.”
Do you find yourself tempted to fall into the trap of feminism? Fear not! God’s Word has the answers, and the truth will set you free! Look no further than Proverbs 31. Let’s take a look at the virtuous woman. This woman makes her life about the things that make her home a TREASURE for her husband and children and a testimony for onlookers. She is perfectly at peace with her role and obviously her husband is too. Who wouldn’t want that? Right!?
Here are a few things we can do that may seem “counter-culture” but will bring peace to our heart, homes, and world.
1. She is loyal to her husband. She is not seeking to please other men or even her friends by trying to be something God never intended her to be. She is lover to her husband; and in turn, he has no need of spoil. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12
2. She is diligent. Laziness is not an option. Sometimes people view the job of "just” a wife/mom as lazy. “She’s not out in the ‘real’ world.” If that is the case, we are not looking at what the Bible says a virtuous woman is, and we certainly are not applying it. Teach your children to be diligent as they work alongside you. “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” Proverbs 31:13-15
How do you view keeping house or your appearance? Do you tend to vanity or carelessness? There is definitely a “ditch” on both sides of that road. Elisabeth Elliot shares this “The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on, all speak loudly about what you believe. The beauty of thy peace shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.”
3. She is a wise steward of her time, talents, and finances. She shows business savvy as necessary and uses her abiblities for God’s glory. Contrary to what the average feminist may say, biblical womanhood in no way expects you to be a mindless drone. You can be capable and submissive. “She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:16-20
To work or not to work, that is the question. I have heard both sides of this the argument even from Christians. Your life season, many times, dictates what is appropriate and what would cause you to be negligent in caring for the things God has for you. There should be no pressure from outsiders who lean in either direction. You can always seek Godly counsel, but you and your husband will ultimately give an account to God. Seek His wisdom on times to pursue work (prepare merchandise and purchase fields). It may not be your time in life now, or ever, to run a business or work outside your home; but we can always look for appropriate ways to be wise with the resources God has provided for our families and teach our kids to do the same.
We can also look for ways to provide for the poor and needy, showing God’s love and compassion, just like the virtuous woman did. We do not have to be rich, but we can be resourceful. One lady at our church would clip coupons and bring food and toiletries to give to families that had needs. Many times the items cost her nothing or almost nothing. However, this thoughtful act was a tremendous blessing to the people she helped. They knew she cared, and it brought her joy!
4. She is kind and wise. Her family adores her. “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31:26-28
The humanistic, feminist mentality does not lend itself to kindness or true wisdom. It goes against the wisdom God offers us in the pages of His Word and as a result it seeks to please and exalt self which leads to misery. This thing isn’t about me. I’m with Phillip, and we are on team family. I love it that way!
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1
The world has tried their way and failed. We can try our own way, and every time our flesh will fail us. However, we can always depend on Christ’s strength and the wisdom of His Word to help us bring back the timeless treasure of biblical womanhood.
