You can probably finish this in your head, “With friends like Job’s… who needs enemies?”
“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.” Job 2:11
In Job chapter two, we find Job in a tough place. His wife had just recommended he curse God and die, and he had an A+ response. Then, here come his friends to “comfort” him after Job experiences what has to be one of the most tragic losses in human history.
Trials are tough but necessary for our Christian growth.
However, we do not want to have the reputation Job’s friends have when it comes to helping our own friends through difficult times. Here are some Biblical ways God is teaching me to be there for a friend who is going through a tough time.
1. Assume the best. Help those around you assume the best too.
Gossip is a trap. Stay away from talking with others about why “the bad thing” has happened to your friend. Always “weep with those that weep.” Walk in the Spirit and keep the fleshly assumptions in check. “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalms 19:14
2. Listen.
Sometimes a grieving friend just needs a listening ear. Listen to understand the needs of the other person. Don’t just listen to give a response. Pray and ask God give you the words to say when it is time to speak. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” James 1:19
3. Give Biblical Answers.
It can be difficult when we see a friend going through something that we KNOW they could have avoided by making better choices. We can either come across “preachy” or “wishy-washy” as we discuss their predicament with them. Neither way is right. Humbly bring Biblical solutions that can help them get back on track. Assure them of your love and that you will be there to cheer them on and help them get back to where they need to be. Then, actually follow through and be there. “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2
Daily tip: The most important thing to remember about being a good friend is that it starts with a close walk with God in my own life.
